Fern Newman Donohue

Fern Newman Donohue died in Durham, North Carolina on June 21st, after an unexpected illness, shortly after joyously celebrating her 90th birthday with her three daughters and families. She survived her husband of 68 years, Terry Donohue, by a little over one year, and while grieving his loss, she still embraced life and gave so generously of herself to her family, as she had always done.

Fern was born and raised in Texas, the eldest daughter of Opal and Henry Newman, a Methodist Minister, and sister to four brothers and a sister. She and Terry met in 1955 when Terry was an Air Force pilot; and after a tour of duty together in Tripoli, Libya, and some further time in their home state of Texas, they moved to southern New Jersey sight-unseen where Terry taught English for over 40 years at what is now Rowan University.

Fern and Terry were a model of what a loving relationship could be. They raised their three daughters in the small town of Pitman, NJ, and in rural Mickleton, surrounded by woods, a lake and tomato fields, where freedom and imagination flourished. Being pioneer spirits themselves, they always encouraged independence in their children, and were absolutely devoted to their education, and to giving them exposure to the world’s beauty — in nature, literature, music, and play — so they would develop rich inner lives.

Fern worked as a capable secretary and university administrator over the years to support Terry while he studied first for his Master’s and later to help put three girls through college. In the days of manual typewriters, she supported Terry through his PhD not least by typing up his handwritten thesis: no mean task. She was self-employed for a while as ‘Oak Desk Publishing’ where she did beautifully ornamented and typeset cards, and literature for small businesses, for which she was sometimes paid in kind, once notably in gallons of maple syrup.

Fern’s enduring vocation was as the maker of a warm, nurturing home. She was the one with the temperament and skills to keep the home going smoothly when salaries were small (and paid only for the nine months of the school year), everyone’s schedules were complicated, and demands were high. During the best of times and the hardest times, Fern was there for her whole family and her closest friends, with absolute dependability.

Fern and Terry took great pleasure over the years in creating a beautiful early-American home from treasures found at a bargain, and a lot of handiwork. Fern was a gifted seamstress, from a long matrilineal line of quilters and sewers, and she made her daughter’s clothes, her granddaughter’s halloween costumes — and she also could produce the most beautifully wrapped presents under the christmas tree from a few scraps of paper and ribbon. She was endlessly resourceful and creative.

Fern was also a wonderful cook, and she and Terry loved to forage the local farm stands, seaside and orchards for whatever was good in season, and put on legendary spreads for family and friends. They had an inimitable sense of occasion, and celebrations around the table were numerous and extremely generous. They also cultivated their garden with gusto, a talent Fern got from her dad who was a keen gardener, and beautiful gardens gave Fern and Terry both enduring pleasure throughout their lives.

So did music. They got to know the Philadelphia Orchestra well after retirement and took great joy in attending performances, and there was always music at home. Fern believed that music could help one feel feelings it is hard to feel, and her last days were soothed by many of her favorite pieces. She loved the “Going Home” movement from Dvorzak’s New World Symphony and “Tis the Gift to the Simple” from Copland’s Appalachian Spring.

Fern also loved history, and she and Terry traveled widely in their retirement years, visiting their daughter Laura, who settled in England; exploring Costa Rica with their biologist daughter, Kathleen; and touring more of their own home country, including many trips to California to visit their daughter Amy and cherished granddaughter, Caitlin, whose love of horses they supported for many mutually gratifying years. Fern was a beloved grandmother who cherished and nurtured her only granddaughter Caitlin. Fern and Terry were proud of their international family, and always had, and encouraged in others, a curious and open-minded world-view.

Fern and Terry lived in southern New Jersey for nearly 50 years and moved to North Carolina in 2015 to be close to their daughter Kathleen and son-in-law Eng Seng. Amy and John moved to Durham in 2019 to be close by, and Laura visited from England frequently.

Fern was beautiful, gentle, and gracious, astonishingly insightful and observant, caring, appreciative, modest and tender. She was a calming, comforting presence, and the best, most willing, company. She was the most genuine and generous of people any of us ever knew. She had a respect for the truth that was expressed in understated humour, and unassuming wisdom.

Her sweet nature was the touchstone for her entire extended family, and she gave us something delightful and precious that no one else did. Her gifts were countless but greatest of all was the way she had of making it so simple, so very easy, to love, and to be loved

Fern is survived by her youngest brother Dean and sister-in-law Pat; her sister Becky and family; her sister-in-law Kathy; Ian, her nephew, and Tamara; her brother-in-law Joe, her niece Adele, and Lou and great-nephew Anthony; her late-niece, Nancy’s family: Gerry, Christopher and Emily; her dear friend Neattie; her daughter Laura and son-in-law David; her daughter Kitty and son-in-law, Eng Seng and Eng Seng’s family in Malaysia; her daughter Amy and partner, John; her beloved granddaughter, Caitlin; and many friends whose lives she touched.