Deborah Ann Kolesar

Deborah Ann Kolesar of Durham, North Carolina, passed away unexpectedly on December 2, 2024.

Born on February 10, 1957, in Lowell, MA, the beloved first daughter of Margaret Mary (Flanagan) and Donald Francis Kolesar, Debbie was a loving and inspiring person, and a curious and kind soul who could brighten your day in a moment when she was with you. Her love of long phone conversations, texts brimming with emojis, holidays (especially holiday dinners!), and her special talent for remembering everything that brought joy to her friends and family will be missed dearly by all who loved her. Debbie also had a tenaciousness and an independent spirit (and a bit of stubbornness!) that allowed her to accomplish remarkable things in her life. Her strong faith in God, and in herself, was integral to helping her endure physical and emotional challenges as they came her way. 

As a child in the 1960's and 70's, her parents fought for her rights and access to public education and instilled in Debbie confidence and self-assuredness that stood her well for the rest of her life. Debbie was enormously proud to graduate from Tewksbury Memorial High School in 1978, and to find employment throughout her life, often receiving accolades from her employers. From her early jobs at Hanscom Air Force Base, and Honeywell (both in Massachusetts), to her volunteer work at the Durham County Public Library, to her later customer service work in Durham at Wal-Mart, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Hardees, Debbie was a reliable hard worker who loved being with people and forging connections.

Debbie was also a strong advocate for community organizations that focused on the dignity and potential of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and physical challenges. Until her death, she was a member of the Durham Mayor’s Committee for Persons with Disabilities through three mayoral administrations and she served in leadership positions in the Durham Civitan Club. She was a member of Common Ground (serving as Secretary, Self-Advocacy Group), and The Arc of Durham County, among other groups. The North Carolina Council on Developmental Disabilities featured her essay in their online series "My ADA Story". She was politically engaged and never missed voting in an election, always aware of how government decisions could directly affect her community, and all vulnerable communities.

Debbie was a parishioner at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Durham, NC for almost 30 years, and previously attended St. Thomas More, in Chapel Hill, NC, and St. William in Tewksbury, MA where she received her First Communion and Confirmation. She loved Immaculate Conception and found great joy in attending mass, arriving independently and early each week to meet and worship with her family. She especially loved witnessing baptisms, delighting in each child. Her devotion to St. Francis of Assisi, her father’s patron saint, found a special home there.

It is hard to convey through words or to conjure an accurate picture of how fiercely Debbie loved. Her family and her friends were never far from her and each person knew that a little piece of her was always with them and thinking about them. As interested as she was in what they loved, she had so many things that gave her joy. To name just a few: Duke Basketball and Notre Dame Football; music from Donny Osmond, Harry Connick, and Michale Bublé; musicals (she was excited to see Wicked!), and old movies, soaps, “Live” with Regis Philbin and everyone else who has hosted it, all things Disney, All Creatures Great & Small on PBS Masterpiece, animals of all kinds (especially beloved family pets), cozy sweaters, Walker’s shortbread, Irish breakfast tea with lemon, being Irish (and also Hungarian and Slovak), Scottie dogs, jewelry (and Scottie dog jewelry!), Thanksgiving dinner, her gazpacho recipe, and Christmas-everything about Christmas. She was a light that shone brightly on and warmed those around her, and she was a light to guide us to be, and to love, better.

Remaining to remember, cherish, and be inspired by Debbie’s life are her sister and brother-in-law Kimberely and Henry Krzywy and their children Martin (Maniza), Simon (Naomi), and Julia; her sister Donna; nieces Kristyn, Meaghan, and Elizabeth; her dear friends Nicki Bradberry and her son Kyren; Lisa Byrd; Sonja Stahlhut; and the members of her beloved DCCLP community of more than 29 years who have been so integral to Debbie’s ability to realize her dreams, especially her DCCLP supporter and advocate, Holly Eggleston.

Preceding Debbie in death are her beloved parents Margaret and Donald Kolesar.

A visitation will be held Sunday, December 22, from 3-5 p.m. at Hall-Wynne Funeral Service, 1113 W. Main Street, Durham. A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered Monday, December 23, at 11:00 a.m. at Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, 810 W. Chapel Hill Street, Durham. Deborah will rest with her dear parents at St. Mary Cemetery in her hometown, Tewksbury, MA. 

In lieu of flowers, donations in Debbie’s memory may be directed to Durham County Community Living Programs (DCCLP).