Carlan Turner Graves

Carlan was born on October 13, 1946, in Durham, NC, the daughter of Carl Alexander Turner and Annie Elizabeth Caviness Turner. Her unique name combined the first letters of her parents’ names. A graduate of Durham High School, Carlan attended nursing school at Duke University but left school to marry. She and William (Bill) Williams Graves III wed in 1966. Their son, William (Bill) Williams Graves IV was born the following year. A lifelong North Carolinian, she and the two Bills moved to an idyllic home on the outskirts of Chapel Hill in 1976. Carlan continued to pursue an interest in the medical field in her career choices. She first worked as a medical journal copyeditor, and later as the Director of Cancer Information Services at Duke University, a job she held for 20 years.

When she became a grandmother in 2001, Carlan took on the role with enthusiasm and joy. Bill and his wife Jan are eternally grateful for her support and wisdom during the early years of child rearing. She visited granddaughter Emerson every two weeks as an infant, and as Emerson grew up, it was Grandma who took her horseback riding or rescued her from too-long Debate Club competitions. They shared a love of movies and spent many a weekend rewatching old favorites over some Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. She was the kind of grandmother that everyone wants, and few people have. Perhaps Carlan was such a wonderful Grandma because of how much she loved being a mother to Bill and a much-loved mother-in-law to Jan.

In her free time, Carlan read voraciously, with wide-ranging interests—from finance to romance. She kept up with current affairs and read two newspapers daily. Perhaps that contributed to her social skills; she was an excellent conversationalist and good listener. Many deep conversations took place on the porch at the family cottage on Topsail Island, and anyone who talked with Carlan knew of her kind and sage advice. She was always generous with her time and knowledge.

Carlan enjoyed spending time with friends over a glass (or two!) of pinot grigio before an evening of dining out or taking in a new movie. While she wasn’t a big traveler, one of the highlights of her life was the 50th birthday trip she made to Italy. Inspired, she returned home to take Italian language classes.

Carlan was a lifelong lover of dogs and cared for many Basset Hounds throughout her life. At the age of 75, she brought home her last canine companion, a Cavapoo named Charlie. Charlie dog kept Carlan company during her final years. Carlan’s home in the woods was a dog’s paradise, and not only did Carlan enjoy watching her many dogs romp about, but she also loved seeing the different varieties of wildlife that shared the woods with her. Her favorite moments were when she spotted foxes and two generations of a white deer family, which was a special joy.

On April 14, 2024, Carlan passed away quietly at home, with her son Bill, daughter-in-law Jan, and her ex-husband Bill by her side. She is survived by son Bill Graves and wife Jan Rieman, and granddaughter Emerson Rieman Graves. Carlan leaves behind many loving cousins and friends, especially her dear friend Susan Booth, who was a great comfort to her in her final months.

A memorial service will be held on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 2:00 pm in the Chapel at Hall-Wynne Funeral Services in Durham, NC. The family will receive friends at a visitation preceding the service, from 1:00 pm to 2:00 pm.